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Tuesday, February 2, 2021



The FBI is seeking a petite woman recently seen sipping organic coffee, picking up & placing in the trash discarded masks and rubber gloves from the blighted streets of newly dystopian New York City, and daring to breathe air without obstructing her respiratory system’s normal access to oxygen. 

“Don’t be fooled by her pixie-like appearance and adorable dog. Her astute insights, searing questions, and biting wit can zap you faster than lightning. She questions authority, she questions the official narratives of our unassailable government, which, as everyone knows, is always to be trusted no matter what,” said the FBI representative, who was wearing a reusable cloth mask made of lightly yellowed white cotton jersey. 

Gilbert is widely regarded as a menace to society for daring to question the status quo regarding the effectiveness of masks, covid statistics, and other official government stories pertaining to the assassination of JFK and 9/11. She examined the John Podesta Pizzagate Wikileaks emails (implicating Hillary Clinton and 98% of the US government, Republicans and Democrats alike) and ascertained their legitimacy to her satisfaction. Her Democrat friends who vehemently deny the validity of the Podesta emails and the Pizzagate story have never so much as glanced at the pertinent Wikileaks data. Trusting the mainstream media's official narrative that Pizzagate, like Q, is a "baseless conspiracy theory" liberals do no research of their own to verify facts, let alone dare look into John's brother Tony Podesta's massive "art" collection. Suffice to say, Jeffrey Dahmer's "handiwork" served as inspiration for one of Podesta's larger sculptural acquisitions. 

Authorities affirm that native New Yorker Valerie Gilbert is "charmed" and dangerous.  

Her deceptively innocent M.O. is to walk her dog, pick up his poop, along with discarded plastic trash, masks, wipes and gloves, and place them in the proper waste receptacle. This is clearly deviant behavior at a time when everyone is living in terror, and wisely toss their biohazard trash immediately on the sidewalk. Theirs is prudent behavior because they would get more germs from holding on to their bacterial wipes, used masks, and dirty gloves for one second longer if they waited until they got to the trash can conveniently located at every street corner in New York. 

“That’s one way to get the mask-holes off my back. If they’re infuriated with me for not wearing a mask, the minute they see me touching trash, it’s clear I’ve lost my mind, and they scurry away from me in terror. Of course, they don’t harass the homeless not wearing masks, people smoking or eating on the street, or basically anyone taller or less cute than I am. Cognitive dissonance is not a problem for these people. Eating outside in winter without a mask is okay, so long as you’re in the newly fabricated restaurant street structures where your covid-y air is kept safely within the frigid enclosure. Clearly, by being inside and outside at the same time, anything problematic gets cancelled out. The enclosed sidewalk cafe is a clear covid killer. Here, have another beer.” 

Gilbert is considered selfish for not wearing a mask. It’s her job, according to the government, to protect everyone around her from germs. The people tossing their dirty masks, bacterial wet wipes and rubber gloves on the sidewalk are not selfish. Repeat, theirs is NOT selfish behavior in a “plan-demic” where everyone is supposed to be scared and self-righteously attack the people who are not scared. 

“In fact, I’m allergic to perfumes and chemicals. My apartment building is filled with residents and staff who dump a quart of perfume, aftershave or cologne on their person daily. I have allergic reactions to this, and am compelled to sneeze and blow my nose, upsetting my entire day, every day. It’s terrible! These people are so selfish! Why can’t they adapt their cosmetic hygiene regime to protect me? On top of that, because of the covid mania, everyone is spraying aerosol products, and other chemical disinfectants everywhere which make me gag, sneeze, my skin itch, and my eyes water. It’s terribly unhealthy. But don’t tell that to them. They would rather breathe in all those toxins and their own CO2 and bacteria in their masks than do anything like breathe fresh air like crazy people like me.” 

Gilbert, who has been roundly and repeatedly cursed and harassed since the beginning of the outbreak of “covid” (which Gilbert asserts is nothing more nor less than the seasonal flu, widely known to be of greater danger to those with weak immune systems and the elderly) stands her ground by continuing to wear her face without hindrance. “If they could spit at me through their mask, they would.”

Gilbert disarms their socialist platitude that “We look out for one another. I wear a mask for you, and you wear one for me” with an incisive analogy. “If I feel the need to carry a gun, can I demand that you carry a gun too, in case my gun doesn’t fire? It's a patently absurd argument. How about this? Since you don’t pay my rent, cook my dinner, or pay for my health insurance, I’ll continue to take care of myself, and allow you to do the same.”  Her arguments are lost on people whose brains are softened by TDS and general MSM brainwashing.

After being treated like a pariah for nearly a year due to the “mask mania” propagated by covidiots, Gilbert cooly observes. “Every time I see an ambulance in front of my building, I get excited. However, despite my best efforts to kill everyone around me by breathing normally, I have failed miserably in my goal. The only people who’ve gotten covid in my building are people who wear masks, including one staff member who wore two simultaneously, months before that became fashionable. No one has managed to die. I say, they need to try harder. Wear more masks, be more afraid, and see what you can do.” 

In defending herself, Gilbert has referred to the Constitution, the law, immunology, virology and the verified lack of effectiveness of masks in preventing covid, but covidiots continue to hear nothing but fear mongering propaganda and read nothing but MSM fear porn. 

“The fact is, I’m protected by the Constitution, HIPAA federal law, and, in fact there’s no law on the books in New York mandating the wearing of masks. If there was, you could arrest me. A cop told me straight up, ‘Cuomo’s mandate is the legal equivalent of a suggestion.” Laws are passed by legislatures, not gubernatorial EOs.

Gilbert has suggested that the offended parties call the cops on her to enforce the made up “law” they all believe in. Then, they remember that they all voted to defund the police. 

One neighbor, outraged that Gilbert was breathing freely in the laundry room, paused while searching for just the right words to attack her with. “You’re a garbage person!” blurted the father of two young sons. His insult was likely inspired by his children, who regularly call him “poopy head.”

"It's neither possible, nor even preferable, to make NYC or any building within it a sterile environment. That being said, I wash my hands," she affirms.

Gilbert is considered a “unabomber without a bomb” for not wearing a mask, and an “upscale deplorable” for her inexplicable support of President Donald J. Trump.

“Not only is Biden ‘not my president,' he’s not anyone’s president. He’s not, in fact the president. He wears a stolen crown. I think he fashioned his out of crepe paper.” Gilbert asserts that the massive election fraud of which conservatives are keenly aware (having reviewed the video and statistical evidence) will be irrefutably proved to the liberals who turned up their nose at anything that disputed the official narrative, which alleges that their guy won. Just like Dewey “beat” Truman.  

“Biden will be president of the prison ping pong club,” Gilbert predicts. “If he’s lucky.”

Gilbert was recently featured on the front page of the New York Times as the poster child for mental instability, borne out by her support of President Donald J. Trump, studying the military intelligence provided by online Q websites, and refusing to wear a wet diaper on her face to prove her obedience to Big Brother and his favorite medic, Dr. Anthony Calligari. Despite her vibrant personality, incisive wit, and colorful past (detailed in her 4 books) including a marriage and many relationships, Gilbert is painted in the Times hit piece as a “crazy cat lady,” a misanthropic, maladapted loner. 

During one of their many phone interviews, the Times writer asked if she’d been diagnosed with any mental illnesses. This is a perfectly normal question to ask a citizen accused of exercising their Constitutional rights. She responded honestly after a brief pause, “I get low blood sugar.” With a history of diabetes in her family, Gilbert is careful to eat small, regular, metabolically sound, organic meals. This provides further evidence of her dangerous and unbalanced behavior. 

In defense of mask-wearing, the Times writer, who lives in California, expressed his outrage at Gilbert for not wearing a mask. “I just want to be able to fly home!” Since commercial flights are available to all American citizens, and since Gilbert lives on the opposite coast, his argument held no water with the free breather. 

Gilbert’s father, Felix Gilbert, was a pilot and navigator in World War II, 8th Air Force. He flew 41 missions over Nazi Germany. It makes perfect sense that Gilbert herself would be considered a menace to society for supporting the First Amendment, The Constitution, her freedom to breathe unimpeded and calling out government corruption. 

Fortunately, though, society can rest easy. Gilbert’s voice has been silenced. The author of four philosophical books (soon to be five) including “Raving Violet,” and the narrator and producer of 132 audio books, has had her social media accounts taken down. Her Twitter account was suspended and her two Facebook pages were deleted. LinkedIn deleted her account and Pinterest deleted her “Important News” page. Social media is now safe from Gilbert’s dangerous ideas. 

Gilbert continues to defiantly take out the trash, do her laundry, and walk in the hallway and lobby while endangering everyone around her (who wear masks) by not wearing a mask. “Oh, I keep at least six feet away from the herd. Frankly, if I could get away from the sheeple altogether, that would be ideal. I look forward to living with free-thinkers and free-breathers someday.”

Gilbert continues to assert her right to breathe without a burka. 

“Maybe I have asthma. Maybe I’m claustrophobic. Maybe I don’t want to mess up my makeup. But I’m protected by the Constitution, and, frankly, it's none of your business. Mind your own face.” 

“Actually, I think all the world’s problems can be solved if everyone just buys one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s “goopy” candles that smells like her vagina. They probably kill covid, too, right?” 

Gilbert was last seen walking down the street with her dog, breathing.

© Valerie Gilbert, 2021, All Rights Reserved

Valerie is the author of RAVING VIOLET, MEMORIES, DREAMS AND DEFLECTIONS, SWAMI SOUP, and BRILLIANCE BREWING: A Meditation On Change. The books are available in print, e-book, and audio, narrated by the author.  Valerie's fifth book will release in 2022. 

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